Dancing in the wind of despair

I watched the dry leaf dropping from a branch. But before it hit the ground it danced with the gentle wind. It was very elegant in its flight enjoying what I thought the last few seconds of its grace. 

It could not hang up there in the air for long. It landed on the dirty soil and the black ants moved for it. The last fling had come to an end. That reminded me of a particular ageing lady whose feet never touched the ground in her younger days. She ‘played’ with her youth in a tune composed by many of her friends.

Now alone in an empty house, she tells people that ‘a day is like an eternity for me.’ Just a few years ago, she would never open her door to any visitor. Now, she cannot even have a wandering soul walking the direction of her house. What went wrong in her life? We know sometimes circumstances dictate our lives to move to a wrong direction. However, in one instant or another, we all have some power, though not an absolute one, to change what we don’t like in our lives.

But as she says now, “I found a refuge in the Satan” and he took her where the angels never bothered to go for her rescue. Rich in both financial terms and relatives, but none of the two blessings work for her now. How can they when she took for granted every penny and shun her family? Now frail with tears easily flowing down her wrinkled cheeks, she complained endlessly about how cruel the world is.

For most of you reading this column would identify somebody like her. Every youth would like to think they have time and the world will forgive them for the many unrepented mistakes. As years rolled by, we pay no attention to the minutes of the day that pushed them forward. Minutes that we largely ignore and when they pass, they always leave their history behind, the history that would haunt us just a few decades later.    

The other day, as I was slowing down at a busy junction, I noticed a little mouse ducking cars. It was trying to cross the road and the twenty yard journey was a matter of life and death for the little creature. I found it highly amusing the way it tangoed with the road, avoiding cars. None of the driver cared about killing a mouse. 

It did cross the road safely to disappear under a rubble of concrete and I could not help wandering that it might attempt a similar adventure another day. Either out of necessity or just for pure thrill, we, too, find ourselves venturing in the danger. The problem is that we use all the reckless moments as an excuse to feel alive.

I for one, know that I have been responsible for a few harsh decisions in the past. Some of them are beginning to haunt me but then what is the use of dwelling in the past? As long as there is that last heave of breath left in us, there is always a second chance. I know we can never relive what is lost but we can gain what we never had. Relatives or friends, if you shun them those days, would come back if you reach for them now. 

If you are a youth now, then I suggest you learn a thing or two from old timers. They may not like to talk about it but with a little encouragement they might do it for your benefit.