Youth in Mind: Listening for Success

How many times were you told during a conversation at home, in the workplace, or at social gatherings, “Just listen to me, please”? Go ahead, reflect and ask yourself: “Am I an effective listener?”

Find out whether you are an effective listener or if you are simply at the beginning of your journey to master this essential habit. Wherever you currently stand in your quest to acquire this skill, there is no need to panic. After all, listening was never taught to us not in schools or universities, nor during our onboarding at work. The good news is that listening, much like any soft skill you have already mastered, can be acquired and developed with intentional practice.

As the saying goes, it is better late than never. You can safely add learning how to be an effective listener to the very top of your priorities, because it is truly the gateway to lasting success. Effective listening empowers you to understand, think, analyse, and respond in an apt manner. Such a skill enriches every conversation you have and allows you to connect deeply with those around you.

My friend Saeed often grumbles that when he talks to others, he struggles to control his wandering mind. While listening, he keeps nodding his head or frequently utters the word “aha” just to make people feel he is paying attention. But the truth is, he is merely hearing the sounds they utter while his own thoughts are miles away. 

When he leaves the room, he can rarely recall anything of substance that was shared. Saeed often chastises himself for such a poor listening habit. As he walks down memory lane, he recalls that this shortcoming has cost him the trust of many people, exacting a high toll across his home, workplace, and social circles. Such frustrations finally forced him to pause, reflect, and ask, “Until when will I carry on like this?” 

As days passed, he realised that remaining complacent would trap him forever within his comfort zone. To escape this bleak reality, he made honing his listening skill one of his SMART goals and walked the extra mile to make it a tangible reality.

In his seminal book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen R. Covey identified listening as a crucial habit that sets effective individuals apart. As he clearly highlighted in Habit Five, we must “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Covey stated, “If I were to summarise in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

As our youth chart their course in life, they should be aware that mastering the art of listening is their gateway towards becoming highly effective and truly talented cadres. Whether they are studying, volunteering, job hunting, or sitting in job interviews, mastering empathic listening will profoundly shape the quality of their lives.

As they step into the corporate world, listening often becomes a make or break factor for their success. They should celebrate every single day as a new opportunity to sharpen the saw of their listening skills. Diligence is required whether they are attending an onboarding program, a business meeting, a team-building exercise, or a professional training session. 

Undoubtedly, listening intently during a client call or extending a gesture of genuine, face to face empathy will help them curate the exact customer experience needed to positively impact the bottom line.

As Ken Blanchard vividly noted, “feedback is the breakfast of champions.” Our youth should warmly embrace the habit of seeking feedback on their performance from line managers, colleagues, and clients alike, accepting what these reflections mirror back to them as a gift to elevate their performance to greater heights. One golden opportunity for such growth is the annual performance appraisal conversation. Furthermore, resolving conflicts, whether in the workplace or on the personal front, requires listening of the highest order to successfully reach a true win-win solution.

In his book ‘Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn’ and his broader works on connection, John Maxwell stresses that anyone can learn how to communicate and connect in an appealing way that leaves a memorable, positive impression. He identifies principles such as finding common ground, keeping communication simple, capturing interest, inspiring others, and staying authentic as a roadmap to purpose. A close look at this philosophy inevitably places listening right at center stage.

Finally, Peter Drucker, the father of modern management, famously reminded us that “the most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” This serves as a sincere, thought provoking message for our youth and future leaders to reflect upon as they diligently hone their craft. It is a heartfelt call for them to celebrate the gift of human connection and embrace a mission of listening for success.

An Omani writer focusing on youth development and cultural issues.